In defense of us poor, unmarried, pitiful, souls...

 NOT!

“So when are you getting married???”…

  

Me:

Asking someone when they’re getting married, is as efficient as asking a cancer patient when he/she will be cured, or a couple struggling to conceive, when they’re going to have a baby. Or an old person, when they’re going to die. It just becomes rude. Just chill on this question! I would really like us a progressive people to start becoming aware of this. And I’m sure I’m not the only one (CAN I GET AN AMEN). It’s also actually quite a disappointing question! I have other things on my mind and in my heart too that are all simultaneously processing, engaging, informing and all happening right now (while you ask me that dumb-ass question) – other than the pursuit of a man. And not allowing me to express that because of a limited conversation repertoire of your expectancy of my life, is super disappointing. ATTENTION: There is more to being a young, female, human being!

I think people are very much unaware of how a question like that can make someone feel. You could have just come out of a terrible break-up, or just met someone that you feel hopeful about, or you may have just been disappointed by someone, or you may even be a freaking lesbian. I mean this is the journey of life – shit is real out here. By asking when a person is getting married, not only shows a very limited consideration for where the person is in life, how they really feel or what they are going through, but it can also be downright hurtful.I feel that some people just purposefully ask to be demeaning. As if you have lost at something. As if you are walking around with a big, gaping whole in your chest. Now, I definitely understand that some people ask out of love and concern, but I can only speak from my experience and as someone who gets asked this question A LOT, it mostly doesn't feel very loving. It makes me feel like I should be ashamed of myself. And obviously is not encompassing or understanding of me as an individual at all.

The thing that really gets to me though, is this idea that being past the age of 23ish, automatically means it’s time to get married. Since when are we cattle who all need to be led into the same barn? To me, being your own person on your own individual journey is such a fundamental and elementary truth of life that it really baffles me when people overlook it so easily. Sure, maybe this notion of being an “individual” who is “different”,  “unique” and “ free” may come from this modern, new age we live in, and definitely has its positive and negative attributes, but it is still my truth and my reality. And it’s important in defining me, as I'm sure it is to many people.

        

So, why am I not married?                                                                                                                                  

1)  I do not feel incomplete:

    Well, firstly and obviously I have not met my spiritual, rock star, super cool dude yet. Or whoever he may be! I’m open!  (But please let him be handsome, Universe! Not kidding.)

But, I’m sorry, this does not mean I am incomplete in any way. Nor are you. I firmly believe in creating yourself, that how you feel, what you believe and what your life is made of is completely in your own hands – you are in control of it. Thus, you can feel inadequate about not fitting into societal and cultural norms, or you can celebrate and appreciate being where you are in life. You can see abundance or you can see what’s lacking. You can feel alone or you can feel how loved you are.  Make yourself! (Incubus: Make Yourself: October 1999).

2) I am dreaming my own dreams:

Secondly, to add to the answer of my favorite question everrrr (sarcasm!), I would also need to explain that my personal belief system and hierarchy of goals are not typical. In saying that, marriage is not something I aspire to - it’s not on my list of dreams I want to make come true nor is it a goal I have set for myself to accomplish. I don’t think in that way. The way I think, is that I will get married based on the PERSON I want to marry and not on anything else. I don’t buy into this princess fairytale, where the prince saves the damsel in distress, because I've saved myself before and I know I will do it again and again. 

I was very perturbed when someone literally said to me, that, when I am married, I will be the happiest I have ever been. Now, of course I hope this is true and I am happy for those who experience this, but I also hope reaching my own, different goals and making my own, personal dreams come true (that have nothing to do with marriage) will also make me the happiest I've ever been. It has a pretty good track record so far, and something tells me that it probably always will.

3) I do not need to be fulfilled by another (right now or maybe ever):

Thirdly, guys, the real truth and the real gravity of this is that if you can’t be happy by yourself, don’t expect someone else to fulfill that need. There is such value in being alone!!!! It is so important! I really want to shout it out to all young women, from the moon!!! And I say this because I know its value!!! I have not experienced a greater gift than the independence and power I have given to myself, by getting to know myself, being honest with myself, deciding for myself, defining myself, thinking for myself, rescuing myself, believing in myself. All the while, with people telling me how I should be. I say F that. You will always grow in life no doubt, but being alone and “consciously uncoupled” (I think it’s a real thing!) - I don’t know if you will ever get such a potent opportunity or circumstance within which to discover yourself and your strength – a wisdom and gift that no one can give you and no one can take away from you.

Of course, there is a time and place for everything in life. I mean no disrespect at all to those who are married or those who aspire to be married. RESPECT! I know that shit’s not easy, I know you’re on your hustle and I know many of you are not only succeeding, but thriving at it. I don't know what it’s like to be married - I can only speak from my own lessons and experiences thus far. At the center of it all, we must realize that we are all on our own journeys and paths. And that is why I speak to those who are in the same place as me – believing in love, patient, open, not feeling the pressure, but also annoyed at the expectations that OTHERS have for YOUR life. Being married shouldn't be the happiest you've ever been when life and all its wonders are in front of you right now!  There’s so many more levels to this, so many more heights of progress, development, growth, change and positivity to reach. Buddhist monk swag. Screw this “He completes me” nonsense, for real – I am not about that life. Complete your damn self, please!

To conclude this semi-rant/semi-self help/semi-single guru vibe, not all of us women dream of a castle to dwell in and a Prince Charming to save us. Some of us are designed to be law breakers, travelers, culture definers, rebels, visionaries - whatever we want to be. This is not about the rejection of being loved – it’s about the rejection of institutionalized, controlled ideas of these beautiful things and the implementation of it in our lives.  It’s a testimony to an ambition that may never be small enough for some, but will never be big enough for me. I hope to get married based on the amazing human that I will get to spend life with but before that, during and after that person, the hopes and dreams I have for myself still are still alive and still compel me to chase them.

I read somewhere that the difference between fate and destiny is this: fate is life defined by conditions and fear, and destiny is a calling and is something you create. I hope that you and I have the courage to live by destiny…that we will find love, share love, be love and get married for reasons we choose and at a time we choose. Especially because life is still going to go on whether we are married or not.

I’m a 26 year old, unmarried female who loves and is grateful for her life. Can you handle that? Single, married or divorced - you're the boss of you so just be happy and free and live your life honestly, OK? Deal? You are still a force on your own!!!

Peace and love,

Nx

Also, this made me LOL:

Social networks are ruining my life

I swear -  I’m on social networks like all day, every day, to the point of obsession where I am always touching my phone every few minutes, never missing any post from anyone, even catching up to posts I last saw AND I FREAKING HATE IT. 

Why am I like this? Are you this way too? Always in the know, never disconnected. It’s obsessive, wasteful and it’s exhausting. I guess there is a sense of ego involved - knowing things before everyone else, seeing breaking news as it happens, consuming the newest of new information all at your fingertips, always updated. Then there's also that feeling of pseudo-connection where you feel like one less lonely person by distracting yourself with all these social networks to help you forget that you don't have a cute boy to text… (kidding! kind of). I don’t know how healthy this is (probably not at all), but I think that it’s a major underlying reason why we use social networks as active, feeling,  human beings. That feeling of being a-part-of, of being connected. Only, the irony is that this is not actual human connection. It’s a bubble of mind-trickery and instant gratification. I want friend requests, likes, retweets and DMs in real life, dammit!  

Oh, this sweet, modern world we live in!

Using social networks is a major love/hate relationship for me but without it I don't know what I'd do with myself! They are my little friends throughout the day, my company, my escape. This, however, doesn’t stop me from complaining about them, just like I do about my real friends! 

Facebook :

The Original. I like Facebook because you get a lot of different kinds of information on it – people’s private life stuff/constructions, pictures, videos, articles, links, game scores. Yaaaay-ish!

But, Facebook to me is like going to a Joburg fete. It’s the place you go when there are absolutely no other fun things happening in the city and where you going to bump in to  a lot of annoying teenagers, old classmates, aunties/uncles and randoms - just people who don't interest you and whose lives you don't want necessarily want to know about. Nor do you want them to know too much about yours.

Facebook to me these days is so random and so communal - it’s the last place I go to post anything because I just feel that’s it’s a very public and open space to share things with people that are not necessarily my closest friends.  I mean I use social networks but I also don't want people I never see or hang out with all up in my bizznizz. Having said that, I feel more in control over the people I share things with on other social networks, mostly because those are newer and have a more updated version of people that are in my life. Also, I’m too lazy to go and remove every acquaintance on my long list of Facebook friends when I have other alternatives to use, you know? Facebook a place for the spreading of mass information like, “Oh hey, I’m moving to another country”, rather than day-to-day events “Yo! I saw this pretty sunset I saw today!”

Also, I must just say that in my experience the people who use Facebook as their primary social network are not usually the most cutting edge or interesting people, with the most fascinating or thought-provoking stuff to say/share, thus dulling my experience even more. Shame Facebook, I BEEN over you.

Twitter:

I like to refer to Twitter as the big black hole on the Internet where inspired, great thoughts and ideas go to die. Well, for me anyway.  This is because when I have a thought that I actually like or deem valuable or super cool, I usually tweet it For example: my dream job of being a puppy photographer/Disney songwriter. I almost forgot they were my dreams after tweeting them!!! Tweeting quickly puts one’s thoughts out there and leaves one satisfied. In so doing, your thought seem to be shared, expressed, done. What this does however, is it prevents me from developing and reflecting on the idea, thought or opinion – it just ends up being tweeted and left at that. So for example, if I have an idea for a song or poem and think up a really cool line for it, I tweet that line. But, I never actually get down to writing it somewhere, thinking about it more or developing it even further by writing more lines and completing the idea. Or if I’m feeling frustrated by something, I can quickly just bitch about it in 140 characters or less and feel better, instead of really considering the situation and how I could learn from it or what I could take from it, instead of resorting to the quick fix of complaining about it.

 The idea of instant gratification here is a biggie. Twitter gives me both the comfort and illusion of being heard, even though all I’ve done is wasted a thought on a few hundred people, most of whom are probably not even active on Twitter.  It’s just a guise of expression. See, I told you it’s a deep dark Internet hole! Eventually the idea or thought is forgotten and the potential for its development also dies. 

I have obviously come to realize that Twitter is the wrong platform for these inspired brain farts and opinions on life. But it is a lovely, sticky web for the laziness of thinking and dealing with life, and also for the fear of writing. Two problems I have literally just discovered I have! Haha!  And meh.

Instagram:

Let me not even try to deny it - I love Instagram. It is the most stimulating social network to me. Statuses and information aka hashtags/description and pictures, both of which usually tend to be of a higher quality - literally and figuratively. It’s the best of both worlds.  It’s streamlined, with a focus of higher quality content than any other social networks and I think it’s pushing us in a strong direction in terms of technology, dissemination of information, our individual use of creativity and overall higher standards on the internet. I like it. 

As an individual user however, it’s a freakin stressful situation for me. I never know which of my 250 images I capture of 2 hours of my day I should actually Instagram. I’m always confused about which of those pictures are the best, which most authentically expresses what I want to show people (I always want to keep it real, no lies or fake representations) which do I look the best in (haaa! I know you do it too), how many pictures are too many of the same event, the time frame of posting… (side note : I once had a friend tell me she unfollowed me because #latergrammed too much. Really though?? I enjoy basking in certain moments because sometimes life is THAT good and THAT sacred). Don’t even get me started on choosing a filter! As an active user, I do want to share cool pictures that are of a good quality which will be appreciated by the above-average Instagram user (Yoh, I think I’m fancy huh!). Ensuring this happens though, is clearly a headache in my life. 

In addition, I do find myself doing a lot of eye rolling at the unavoidable culture of self-promotion and ego boosting that I come across on Instagram from including and notwithstanding the repertoire of too many selfies, too much showing off, too many hot bods, constructions vs reality, virtual realities, bling bling, etc etc. Instagram makes all this pretty normal and acceptable, even though I think we can do better as young humans. I do enjoy high-fashion posts, #ootd, Beyonce’s feed (also #bringbadgalririback!), design ideas, behind the scenes of lives and what’s happening in everyday lives, pretty, faraway places, pics of jewelry, wedding dresses and tattoos and of course the real reason I even got Instagram – pictures of baby animals!!!! So, I guess it’s not all bad.  Also, have you ever seen a picture baby hippo?? Just do it.

It’s a complicated and modern world we live in. When there wasn’t Instagram, there were polaroids. When there was no Facebook, there were letters and phone calls. When there was no Twitter, there were more public outbursts, I’m sure. These forms way of communication and expressions have always existed in some shape or form (So, stop blaming the demise of moral society on Facebook, old people). I guess it’s how we navigate through it all that makes the difference. I could never understand people who never ever had Facebook or don’t use any social networks, and I probably still don’t, but I do envy the peace that they have every day. Me, personally, I am going to try and focus on being more present and patient in all moments and maybe chatting up a stranger in the parking lot, or writing with a pen and paper more. Hey, maybe I’ll even scream at the top of my lungs with delight or annoyance in the grocery store. But first, I gotta update all my statuses with this blog post. The blasted irony.

Let me know how you feel about this too!

Peace!

Nafeesa x

P.S Just thought of posting blog posts to people. Like actually in the post. It can be the new blogging!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! No? Ok bye.

Allow me to reintroduce myself….

(My name is Hov', OH, H-to-the-O-V
I used to move snowflakes by the O-Z)

If this just rang through your head right now…......................Nice!!!

On the real though, this blog has been dead. Dead dead dead. The reasons for this are wild and vast. I mean we started this blog as unemployed graduates with a lot of time to indulge in our obscure, alternative thoughts and hang out on coffee shops fantasizing about life. Oh wait, we still subscribe to the latter, but now we have less time to mess around and pursue what we really want to. Ah the corporate life! Aslam, co-blogger and homie, in a bold move (great for him, but horrible for me), moved to Sharjah to teach English for almost a year now and is probably going to keep going on world adventures. I, on the other hand, have missed my friend A LOT, but I’ve also somehow become a workaholic type and this has pretty much killed my creative drive. NOT ON. NEED THAT.

This blog was started by us as outlet the share our thoughts, critiques, tastes and ideas on everything that we love and are inspired by. These are not always common or mainstream, but they are real and affect us in a real way. I must say though that, for me, it is very frustrating having all these ideas about the world I live in and not always being able to share it with people who relate and who essentially ‘feel’ me. This is one of the reasons I wanted to be part of a blog - a space that is mine, where I can share the things in my mind with more people than in real life. We’re not up in this blog game to get more followers, or be invited to the cool parties, or to win any popularity contests. No. The Rebel and The Urban Edge represents a place for us to share our honest, sometimes outlandish contemplations, and to share what keeps inspired, interested, bothered. It’s a space for authentic, original and fearless thought that will maybe inspire, maybe present new perspectives, maybe just be fun, hopefully all of these! Or none. Deuces!

I’m so grateful for this space! I literally dream of things to write. I am constantly jotting down and I am so driven by this blog! I’ve sat down a million times to write, but honestly it hasn’t just been time constrained. Things like being uninspired, distracted and fearful all got in my way. But ain’t nobody got time for that! So we're back in the game. Thank you to everyone who has taken the time to visit this blog and read our stuff. It makes my heart happy! Plus, today I saw that had over 10 000 views. Good Lawwd! OK fine, 5000 of those views were probably me, but still! Me and Aslam are on it now! Please come back for more!

In our attempt to re-invigorate the blog, we have a shiny new banner! These pics were taken in December of last year, when I hung with Aslam-guy in his new hometown. We work up early, hustled from taxi to taxi to metro in search for a true gem in the heart of plastic Dubai – a place called The Archive in Safa Park. The Archive is essentially a coffee shop in a park attached to an even cooler modern library that boasts the most impressive collection of Islamic and Middle Eastern arts and culture books that I’ve ever seen or probably ever will see. I read so many different, amazing things – a photo diary documenting Hajj in 1939/1940 (my fave), a book on all of Azzedine Alaïa's work in the 21^st century, a book explaining the history and types of Graffiti work and their meanings in Palestine, an entire collection of poetry from Khalil Gibrain, a book documenting and explaining every single high rise building built in Dubai up to a few years ago, Zaha Hadid’s entire architecture portfolio, history books of the Arab dynasty, books on Arabic calligraphy, art work of Al Ghazali philosophy, just to name a few. Needless to say, we were joyfully lost in those books for hours. Literally. For breakfast, brunch, lunch and afternoon tea. We indulged and we found our happy place. Oh! How can I forget! We also got to see a mural that graf artist El Seed, who we love, did just a few days before at The Archive. It was a great day indeed.

So welcome back again and see you soon?

Peace and love,

Nafeesa

If I ever wrote a self-help book...

It would contain many expletives. I keeps it real. Here is the potential cover and title as well as a breakdown of chapters:

Please note: F=Fuck

(Sorry)

 

Chapter 1: F everyone.

This chapter is about designing ones psyche to be able to easily tell people to F off. F people and do whatever the F you want to do with your life and time because that shit is damn precious and can't afford to be wasted. Be free, happy and filled with joy and do whatever the F you need to do to feel that way. F a hater. Haters gonna hate. Don't let people's own personal limitations about life become your beliefs about your life. Do whatever you want to do to be happy. (Don’t kill anyone though. And try not to hurt people either.)

Chapter 2: Drop bullshit like it’s hot

Here, we delve into the mind in order to understand how not to stand for bullshit. Don’t stand for muthaf-in bullshit ever. If something does not sit right with you, if something is causing you unhappiness and you can’t find a resolution (like when someone irritates or annoys you badly, or if someone is constantly judgemental and small minded in their attitude), drop that muthaf-in shit like it’s hot. This is how you actively endeavour to not stand for bullshit. You can only ever control your own self - and trying to control people or impose your will on them is just a pointless and wasteful effort. Get away from people and situatations that perpetuate what you consider to be bullshit and do something else with your time. Like spending time with people or in situations who that the opposite of bullshit and that inspire and uplift. Your peace and state of mind is more important than any bullshit person or situation. Just saying.

Chapter 3: Be one selective ass bitch!

In this chapter, we shall seek to let the light into our lives by learning to be selective as shit. This means always choose the F-ing utmost best for yourself in all circumstances, especially in terms of who you hang out with and who you share your time with. Be in full and conscious control of YOUR life and your actions, and where you go and where you don’t go. Make the best decisions for yourself depending on your needs and also depending on the kind of person you dream about becoming (I’m hoping you want to be a good and extraordinary person. If not, its cool too). Sometimes you gotta be like “Yo, F other people, I need to put myself first.” This is not necessarily a selfish thing to do but rather it is an act of self-love and self-respect - if you do it right. You don’t have to be miserable or forced to do/be what you don’t want. Roll alone rather than roll with a-holes or energy suckers or self-obsessed people or anyone negative.

Chapter 4: Inspiration is the shit dreams are made of

This chapter will teach you to guide yourself not to do things unless they excite you thoroughly and fill you with joy. Basically, don’t waste your time. Don’t move unless you are inspired to. Inspiration is something godsend and is my favourite feeling in the word. It’s a powerful force that fills you with joy, empowerment, bliss and hope. You have to act on what inspires you, what touches you, what moves you. You have to take it as a message from above that you are on the right path. Being inspired by something is a gift and it feels sublime as F and because of this, it is so important to respect it. So be inspired, be free to love what also wants you to love it. Make plans if you are inspired enough and believe that that shit will come true. Because it just F-ing might. If one dope thing is possible, then every dope thing is possible. Be open to inspiration and believe in your damn self. Hard.

Chapter 5: Shine bright, bitch

This means do you. That means be yourself. In exploring this concept deeper, it actually means F your mediocre ass, scared self, and rather be the best best best version of yourself (This may be an Oprah phrase, although sincerely coming from me). Shining bright should be your norm. Thus, you need to strongly commit (despite fear) to doing things that are a little crazy and that you only dream of when you are alone and safe in your bedroom. Things that will help you grow into who you ideally want to be and things that will challenge you to be more than who you are. You really really really need to work on your hustle to become who you need to be in order to live your dreams. And you best believe that fulfilled dreams and amazing things don’t come to scared, mediocre, doubtful people who hide in the shadows of what they desire. Prioritise being wise, free, whole, enough, harmonious, strong, positive and believing (and the like) over all else. Shine bright, bitch. You can.

(Beyonce's poem to Frank Ocean on his bi-sexuality)

Chapter 6: Give thanks F-ed up.

Probably the most important chapter – training yourself to always give thanks. You just have to be grateful if you want to be baller in life. You have to be grateful especially because sometimes you are lacking in the things you want, but if you look closer and from another perspective, there are probably countless times when you actually have the things you want, but you’re too busy being ungrateful to notice. Being a spoilt brat....never that. You are looked after a power bigger than you, who loves you, who wants the best for you, who knows you and who hears you. Gratitude is the shit because it brings you more. Appreciate all the good and bad that’s in your life because it is put their on purpose by the hand of ultimate divine power. Which means it’s pretty much perfect as it is. Don’t get sucked in by a bad situation and have that ruin all the amazing things you have in your life. You are an abundant mutha-f-er and this is undeniable. So stop complaining and rather stop and realise what you have to be grateful for. Everyone definitely has something.  

Looking for a publisher. HOLLERRRRRR! :)

Nx

Fashion/TV : My Top 8

This blog needs some fun times and I'm here to provide to bring it! I know it's been a hot minute (I’ve been busy and lazy, ok!) so I thought I'd come back with a bang of fun and confetti in the form of a frivolous and indulgent Top 8 countdown. I say frivolous and indulgent, but I propose too, that it is important and relevant! Besides it being Halloween soon, I also just need to get these thoughts out! So here I am sharing with you my favourite, best dressed characters from TV shows. This all started in my mission for a Halloween costume. Being the specific person I am and with the specific style I like to think I have, I’m not about to wear something silly and ridiculous, even if it is in the name of fun – although, silliness and ridiculousness here, is all relative. It’s a perfect excuse to pay homage to your favourite anything in a fashionable way – to commit, represent, make it special, make it original and not turn up as your favourite Teletubby. Basically, what I’m saying is seize the opportunity on Halloween. And in life.

Beyond this though, I just wanted to share my list of the best dressed, pop culture TV characters I’ve come across in my life. Besides best dressed, I’m gonna go ahead and say that in the context of TV and my head, they are style icons, because their looks are each bold and powerful. Their characters are enhanced by their style and because of this, they are not easily forgotten. Also, because it’s fun and because Serena and Blair are not the first well-dressed characters on TV. Hope these bring back some good memories and provide some kind of inspiration!

#8 Wilma Flinstone, The Flinstones

 

To start off, I chose the famous Mrs Flinstone. I feel like people overlook her simplistic elegance just because she lives in Stone Age and is surrounded by dinosaurs. Sure, she only has one outfit, but what a good one it is! Understated and elegant. Whether she is cleaning the house, shopping or at the drive-in, she always looks like she is ready for a cocktail party in her one-shoulder dress and red lips. Her “pearls” too communicate an idea of maturity and social standing. She’s fun and social yet intelligent and responsible, and her styling exemplifies this. She be reppin’ the little white dress, from back in the day! Literally!

#7 Hilary Banks, The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air

 

 

  

At number 7, I chose one of the underrated characters from one of my favourite shows : Hilary Banks from The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air. She’s the spoilt, lazy, ditz of the family – but my God is she funny! I never appreciated her character growing up, because of all these negative connotations, but also, because I associated them with hot, popular, stupid girl in the awesome clothes (dear old American pop culture conditioning). So the clothes had lost their meaning to me. Watching episodes today though, she makes me laugh the most and besides that, she has mad style! As the rich, hot girl she expectedly wears cool clothes, but her styling is daring, clean and fresh. She’s preppy, she’s structured, she’s sexy and she always looks like she’s ready to rule the world. Ironically. Because she’s not. But she pulls the look of immaculately. She’s chic and adorable and I want all her jackets. Next time the show’s on, check out what she’s wearing and you’ll be all like, “Damn girl!” You’ll see.

#6 Ariel’s sisters, The Little Mermaid

  

Ariaaaal!!! (In Sebastian the Lobster’s accent). This movie pretty much made my childhood. Ariel is so beautiful, even though she’s just a drawing. She’s got this bold and reckless beauty that I adore. However, the reason I think that her sisters are style icons, is because of the lesson in style they inadvertently provide. They are 6 sisters, all princesses, all different, yet they are able to represent parts of their personality through something very specific – accessories. Attina, who is next in line for the throne has the boldest crown; Aquata, has pearls in her hair and is a graceful dancer with feminine characteristics; Andrina is sarcastic and witty and has pink decorations in her short blonde hair; Arista is a little ditzy and has long blonde hair with red pearl decorations; Adella has green fins and is boy crazy; and Alana is the glamorous, beauty queen with a pink tiara-like crown.

What I’m saying is that style is made up of who you are and how you express that. Clearly, these mermaids express their individuality through colour, hair style and accessories – and it works. We are not clones and our individuality should be celebrated and expressed. Herein lies the power of the accessory, illustrated by mermaids. Unexpected, I know.

#5 Peggy Bundy, Married With Children

  

 

  

"Love and Marriage, Love and Marriage, Go together like a horse and carriage...”. I know you love that show...

Peggy Bundy is the hot mama in Married With Children, who does not cook or clean, and is obnoxious and a little self-absorbed. Her personality is maintained through her style and I can respect that. She’s into leopard print, stilettos, shoulder pads and big, red, hair that is so high, it is close to God. She maintains who she is through her loud, sexy and unapologetic dress sense, along with with a cigarette constantly on her lips for that extra attitude. Also, she only ever wears heels. All. The Time. My kind of girl! Her daughter may have been the hot one in the cast, but this mama was definitely the best dressed.

 #4 Romy and Michelle, Romy and Michelle’s High School Reunion

 

I’m not embarrassed to admit that this is one of my favourite movies ever! Romy and Michelle are two best friends with their own self-created style that they are proud to show off and live by. What I love about them in the movie is that they wear what THEY think is cool, and not what others think is cool – the way it should be. They don’t conform to any kind of fashion trends, and define the rules themselves. They make their own clothes, they wear pleather and heels to the spinning class, and they dressed up as Madonna to the prom instead of as some poofed up cupcakes (it was the 80s). They don’t curr, they define their own style. It’s more important to them to be true to themselves, no matter how conventional or silly they may look. And when they are true to themselves aesthetically, they are confident, and shine in many other ways. They want to be more than some unemployed, underestimated, California girls. They want to be special and they want to be remembered. They achieved this by being themselves, inside and out. Awwww.

#3 Morticia Addams, The Addams Family

 

The original pop culture, Goth girl. Which I LOVE. But besides that, Morticia makes my list because her style, although a little eerie, is sleek, bold and timeless. Her long, straight black her coupled with her long, tight, structured black dress is so smoky and smooth, and it speaks volumes about the kind of character she portrays – dark, sarcastic and amusing. She embodies a look that will never grow old or not suit her because of how it effortlessly ties in with who she specifically is. I also think that fact that she is a bit creepy not only adds more intrigue to her look but represents her as strong woman that others would be intimidated by, and there ain’t nothing wrong with that! I also adore how she is dark and glamorous at the same time. Her look is hard, but she always has beautiful glowing make up, bright red lips and long red nails – features of a more feminine woman. She applies this to traditional element to her look and it gives it a new meaning of dark elegance. She walks the walk, talks the talk, and wears that black dress like no other. I think she’s very cool. Effortlessly and authentically so.

#2 Cruella DeVille, 101 Dalmatians

 

 

 

I know she’s an evil and crazy lady... but Cruella’s style (minus the potentially dead Dalmatian fur coat) is, quite frankly, high-fashion, bad-assery. This can be broken down to three main elements. Firstly, her eccentricity, her glamour and her use of only 3 colours in her dressing. Firstly, her crazy and slightly demented personality defines a lot of her eccentric style, particularly seen in her kind of punk-inspired, two-tone hair and of course the crazy look in her eyes. But this is a villain who indulges in style and glamour. She wears over-sized fur coats and long satin gloves, smokes her cigarettes through a long cigarette holder, and always wears a dark red lipstick and red long nails. Another defining feature of her style is that she only ever wears black, white and red, a bold and iconic combination. She is strong, glamorous, rich, eccentric bad-ass who values her purposefully constructed appearance and the messages it sends. She is evil in the most iconic and stylish way, that makes me want to be evil too. Just a little.

#1 Jem and the Holograms, Jem and the Holograms

 

 

  

 

 If you did not watch Jem and The Holograms as a kid, I feel like you definitely missed out. I would be lying if I didn’t say that till today, I am madly in love with Jem and The Holograms and sometimes I wish they were a real band that would make real music videos, win MTV awards, cover the pages of Vogue, start a clothing line and then come and tour in South Africa, where I would be their #1 groupie. I think I can actually also say without a doubt that Jem and The Holograms are responsible for my love of the rock n' roll girl.

Let me tell you about Jem. Her real name is Jerrica and she owns a music company but has an alter-rock star-ego, Jem, and together with her sister and friends have a rock band called Jem and The Holograms. Sometimes I think that Jem and The Holograms all went solo and changed their names to Lady Gaga, Rihanna, Katy Perry and Nicki Minaj. Beside the fact that they are in an ALL GIRL ROCK BAND, they all have amazing style, defined by big colourful hair, crazy make up, bold signature pieces of clothing, edgy accessories and an overall rock and roll frame, with a soft side. They are a rock band, who are stylised by their music, by the culture of their punk-rock sound and by their femininity. Most importantly, they are cool – they are endlessly hip and fashionable, because they exist in a culture of music that influences who they are and how they look and they exist in this realm, as it is with all self-created, authentic and original music stars. They are an explosion of a fantasy girl, punk rock style. I’m obsessed with Jem and The Holograms, a secret I am now letting out, and I wish I could wear a candyfloss pink wig every day and have magic earrings that turn me into a rock star. Don’t you?

What did you think?

Also, I'm calling dibs on Cruella for Halloween!

Peace and Love

Nx