Social networks are ruining my life

I swear -  I’m on social networks like all day, every day, to the point of obsession where I am always touching my phone every few minutes, never missing any post from anyone, even catching up to posts I last saw AND I FREAKING HATE IT. 

Why am I like this? Are you this way too? Always in the know, never disconnected. It’s obsessive, wasteful and it’s exhausting. I guess there is a sense of ego involved - knowing things before everyone else, seeing breaking news as it happens, consuming the newest of new information all at your fingertips, always updated. Then there's also that feeling of pseudo-connection where you feel like one less lonely person by distracting yourself with all these social networks to help you forget that you don't have a cute boy to text… (kidding! kind of). I don’t know how healthy this is (probably not at all), but I think that it’s a major underlying reason why we use social networks as active, feeling,  human beings. That feeling of being a-part-of, of being connected. Only, the irony is that this is not actual human connection. It’s a bubble of mind-trickery and instant gratification. I want friend requests, likes, retweets and DMs in real life, dammit!  

Oh, this sweet, modern world we live in!

Using social networks is a major love/hate relationship for me but without it I don't know what I'd do with myself! They are my little friends throughout the day, my company, my escape. This, however, doesn’t stop me from complaining about them, just like I do about my real friends! 

Facebook :

The Original. I like Facebook because you get a lot of different kinds of information on it – people’s private life stuff/constructions, pictures, videos, articles, links, game scores. Yaaaay-ish!

But, Facebook to me is like going to a Joburg fete. It’s the place you go when there are absolutely no other fun things happening in the city and where you going to bump in to  a lot of annoying teenagers, old classmates, aunties/uncles and randoms - just people who don't interest you and whose lives you don't want necessarily want to know about. Nor do you want them to know too much about yours.

Facebook to me these days is so random and so communal - it’s the last place I go to post anything because I just feel that’s it’s a very public and open space to share things with people that are not necessarily my closest friends.  I mean I use social networks but I also don't want people I never see or hang out with all up in my bizznizz. Having said that, I feel more in control over the people I share things with on other social networks, mostly because those are newer and have a more updated version of people that are in my life. Also, I’m too lazy to go and remove every acquaintance on my long list of Facebook friends when I have other alternatives to use, you know? Facebook a place for the spreading of mass information like, “Oh hey, I’m moving to another country”, rather than day-to-day events “Yo! I saw this pretty sunset I saw today!”

Also, I must just say that in my experience the people who use Facebook as their primary social network are not usually the most cutting edge or interesting people, with the most fascinating or thought-provoking stuff to say/share, thus dulling my experience even more. Shame Facebook, I BEEN over you.

Twitter:

I like to refer to Twitter as the big black hole on the Internet where inspired, great thoughts and ideas go to die. Well, for me anyway.  This is because when I have a thought that I actually like or deem valuable or super cool, I usually tweet it For example: my dream job of being a puppy photographer/Disney songwriter. I almost forgot they were my dreams after tweeting them!!! Tweeting quickly puts one’s thoughts out there and leaves one satisfied. In so doing, your thought seem to be shared, expressed, done. What this does however, is it prevents me from developing and reflecting on the idea, thought or opinion – it just ends up being tweeted and left at that. So for example, if I have an idea for a song or poem and think up a really cool line for it, I tweet that line. But, I never actually get down to writing it somewhere, thinking about it more or developing it even further by writing more lines and completing the idea. Or if I’m feeling frustrated by something, I can quickly just bitch about it in 140 characters or less and feel better, instead of really considering the situation and how I could learn from it or what I could take from it, instead of resorting to the quick fix of complaining about it.

 The idea of instant gratification here is a biggie. Twitter gives me both the comfort and illusion of being heard, even though all I’ve done is wasted a thought on a few hundred people, most of whom are probably not even active on Twitter.  It’s just a guise of expression. See, I told you it’s a deep dark Internet hole! Eventually the idea or thought is forgotten and the potential for its development also dies. 

I have obviously come to realize that Twitter is the wrong platform for these inspired brain farts and opinions on life. But it is a lovely, sticky web for the laziness of thinking and dealing with life, and also for the fear of writing. Two problems I have literally just discovered I have! Haha!  And meh.

Instagram:

Let me not even try to deny it - I love Instagram. It is the most stimulating social network to me. Statuses and information aka hashtags/description and pictures, both of which usually tend to be of a higher quality - literally and figuratively. It’s the best of both worlds.  It’s streamlined, with a focus of higher quality content than any other social networks and I think it’s pushing us in a strong direction in terms of technology, dissemination of information, our individual use of creativity and overall higher standards on the internet. I like it. 

As an individual user however, it’s a freakin stressful situation for me. I never know which of my 250 images I capture of 2 hours of my day I should actually Instagram. I’m always confused about which of those pictures are the best, which most authentically expresses what I want to show people (I always want to keep it real, no lies or fake representations) which do I look the best in (haaa! I know you do it too), how many pictures are too many of the same event, the time frame of posting… (side note : I once had a friend tell me she unfollowed me because #latergrammed too much. Really though?? I enjoy basking in certain moments because sometimes life is THAT good and THAT sacred). Don’t even get me started on choosing a filter! As an active user, I do want to share cool pictures that are of a good quality which will be appreciated by the above-average Instagram user (Yoh, I think I’m fancy huh!). Ensuring this happens though, is clearly a headache in my life. 

In addition, I do find myself doing a lot of eye rolling at the unavoidable culture of self-promotion and ego boosting that I come across on Instagram from including and notwithstanding the repertoire of too many selfies, too much showing off, too many hot bods, constructions vs reality, virtual realities, bling bling, etc etc. Instagram makes all this pretty normal and acceptable, even though I think we can do better as young humans. I do enjoy high-fashion posts, #ootd, Beyonce’s feed (also #bringbadgalririback!), design ideas, behind the scenes of lives and what’s happening in everyday lives, pretty, faraway places, pics of jewelry, wedding dresses and tattoos and of course the real reason I even got Instagram – pictures of baby animals!!!! So, I guess it’s not all bad.  Also, have you ever seen a picture baby hippo?? Just do it.

It’s a complicated and modern world we live in. When there wasn’t Instagram, there were polaroids. When there was no Facebook, there were letters and phone calls. When there was no Twitter, there were more public outbursts, I’m sure. These forms way of communication and expressions have always existed in some shape or form (So, stop blaming the demise of moral society on Facebook, old people). I guess it’s how we navigate through it all that makes the difference. I could never understand people who never ever had Facebook or don’t use any social networks, and I probably still don’t, but I do envy the peace that they have every day. Me, personally, I am going to try and focus on being more present and patient in all moments and maybe chatting up a stranger in the parking lot, or writing with a pen and paper more. Hey, maybe I’ll even scream at the top of my lungs with delight or annoyance in the grocery store. But first, I gotta update all my statuses with this blog post. The blasted irony.

Let me know how you feel about this too!

Peace!

Nafeesa x

P.S Just thought of posting blog posts to people. Like actually in the post. It can be the new blogging!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! No? Ok bye.

Allow me to reintroduce myself….

(My name is Hov', OH, H-to-the-O-V
I used to move snowflakes by the O-Z)

If this just rang through your head right now…......................Nice!!!

On the real though, this blog has been dead. Dead dead dead. The reasons for this are wild and vast. I mean we started this blog as unemployed graduates with a lot of time to indulge in our obscure, alternative thoughts and hang out on coffee shops fantasizing about life. Oh wait, we still subscribe to the latter, but now we have less time to mess around and pursue what we really want to. Ah the corporate life! Aslam, co-blogger and homie, in a bold move (great for him, but horrible for me), moved to Sharjah to teach English for almost a year now and is probably going to keep going on world adventures. I, on the other hand, have missed my friend A LOT, but I’ve also somehow become a workaholic type and this has pretty much killed my creative drive. NOT ON. NEED THAT.

This blog was started by us as outlet the share our thoughts, critiques, tastes and ideas on everything that we love and are inspired by. These are not always common or mainstream, but they are real and affect us in a real way. I must say though that, for me, it is very frustrating having all these ideas about the world I live in and not always being able to share it with people who relate and who essentially ‘feel’ me. This is one of the reasons I wanted to be part of a blog - a space that is mine, where I can share the things in my mind with more people than in real life. We’re not up in this blog game to get more followers, or be invited to the cool parties, or to win any popularity contests. No. The Rebel and The Urban Edge represents a place for us to share our honest, sometimes outlandish contemplations, and to share what keeps inspired, interested, bothered. It’s a space for authentic, original and fearless thought that will maybe inspire, maybe present new perspectives, maybe just be fun, hopefully all of these! Or none. Deuces!

I’m so grateful for this space! I literally dream of things to write. I am constantly jotting down and I am so driven by this blog! I’ve sat down a million times to write, but honestly it hasn’t just been time constrained. Things like being uninspired, distracted and fearful all got in my way. But ain’t nobody got time for that! So we're back in the game. Thank you to everyone who has taken the time to visit this blog and read our stuff. It makes my heart happy! Plus, today I saw that had over 10 000 views. Good Lawwd! OK fine, 5000 of those views were probably me, but still! Me and Aslam are on it now! Please come back for more!

In our attempt to re-invigorate the blog, we have a shiny new banner! These pics were taken in December of last year, when I hung with Aslam-guy in his new hometown. We work up early, hustled from taxi to taxi to metro in search for a true gem in the heart of plastic Dubai – a place called The Archive in Safa Park. The Archive is essentially a coffee shop in a park attached to an even cooler modern library that boasts the most impressive collection of Islamic and Middle Eastern arts and culture books that I’ve ever seen or probably ever will see. I read so many different, amazing things – a photo diary documenting Hajj in 1939/1940 (my fave), a book on all of Azzedine Alaïa's work in the 21^st century, a book explaining the history and types of Graffiti work and their meanings in Palestine, an entire collection of poetry from Khalil Gibrain, a book documenting and explaining every single high rise building built in Dubai up to a few years ago, Zaha Hadid’s entire architecture portfolio, history books of the Arab dynasty, books on Arabic calligraphy, art work of Al Ghazali philosophy, just to name a few. Needless to say, we were joyfully lost in those books for hours. Literally. For breakfast, brunch, lunch and afternoon tea. We indulged and we found our happy place. Oh! How can I forget! We also got to see a mural that graf artist El Seed, who we love, did just a few days before at The Archive. It was a great day indeed.

So welcome back again and see you soon?

Peace and love,

Nafeesa

Corporates really suck

I came across an article listing the year's best employees and lo and behold, a company that I had just resigned from was featured near the top. I didn't resign because I saw a brilliant opportunity somewhere else but because I genuine believe that my work was making the world a worse place and being in a position where I did not have overriding financial obligations my moral obligation made it necessary for me to leave. This may have been a mistake and I may have to rejoin the corporate machine at some point and writing this piece may severely hinder my chances of being able to get a job back there but I thought it good to share my thoughts on what corporate jobs are all about.

Note that I was in one of the better ones.

1. Work sucks I know - moving from university to work one of the major complaints I've heard from several peers and experienced first hand is that your self-worth drops significantly. Decisions you were free to make are no longer yours (waking hours, skipping lectures hours, dress code) and more significantly your time is no longer yours. You can no longer spend a week reading into a new topic because being a grown up means doing grown up things. Working from 8 to 5, coming home exhausted, looking forward to an hour of television (gym if you're enthusiastic) and some supper table conversation before you get to bed in order to wake up earlier than you'd want to for yet another day. Trying to socialise or seek stimulation outside of work during the week will mean low energy and performance levels at work the next day getting you the looks you don't want from your superiors and colleagues (social manipulation). Weekend's are always too short and there's usually something from work you thought you'd be able to finish up over the weekend that ends up taking longer than you thought and further dampening the little bit of fun/stimulation the weekend was supposed to provide. This insight is not new at all. Everyone's experienced it, everyone complains about it.

2. The insignificance of it all. If you end up at a large multi-national corporate (the one's we're supposed to want to work for because they offer the best salaries, packages, travel opportunities) the decisions in your office aren't yours to make. Even the top boss in your office isn't making many real decisions. His (usually a he) job is merely to execute whatever plan has been developed on the other side of the world by analysts who've looked at the models and past case studies and reasoned that this course of action will be best. Their work would seem equally meaningless as they never see any of their plans being executed, just reams of paper passed on for approval and a performance evaluation congratulating them on the paper used. You become a tiny cog in a big, big machine. Sometimes your efficient spinning makes a little bit of a difference - when you just start out, whether you spin or not is pretty inconsequential...they make sure of that, too much risk attached. The multi-nationals got so big for a reason. They don't let mess-ups happen. Everything is well-reasoned by those with experience. Your job is to execute, not to think, just execute. If you have some insight feel free to pass it up along the chain until it reaches someone (usually your immediate supervisor) who will tell you (nicely) that they had the exact same idea when they started but it won;t work because of x,y and z.

3. The work is genuinely evil. This is the crux of it. We know that their is inequality in the world. We know that inequality is increasing. Inequality and not poverty is the root cause of unhappiness, and crime so it affects those on both sides of the divide. We also all aspire to get corporate jobs - jobs that deepen inequality. The big picture became clear to me when I was selling a new washing powder in an informal settlement out of a Shoprite store to whom I can only affectionately call a Mama. The new washing powder brings competition into the previously monopolized industry, great because it means lower prices but this is the smallest band-aid over the largest bullet hole of what is going on. The band-aid does more damage than good because everyone applying it doesn't look past it at the bigger picture and only focuses on the "good" they're doing. The Mama's money will go to the corporate. Seems fair enough but there's a book well worth reading called 23 Things They Don;t Tell You About Capitalism and one of the things is the decision making within corporates.

The corporations profits are reinvested or given to shareholders, seems fair because they each own a share of the company but if we look at who your typical shareholder is it's quickly apparent how inequality is being deepened on a daily level and how we contribute to it every time we make a purchase and especially when we get jobs making corporations more efficient and making profits. Shareholders are people with money. The Mama's money is not going back into her community to improve her life, the life of her family and friends, it is going to middle and upper-class shareholders who sit very far away and use that money to improve their lives. What did the shareholders do for their lives to deserve being bettered over that of the Mama's? Basically they had more money first - legacies of colonialism, years of racism, slave-trade, it all fits in.

So when you get offered a job at one of the year's best employees it's best to check the criteria of best-ness. Best for me because I am trained to narrowly perceive my life in terms of how much money I make to buy nice cars, homes and clothes, go on nice holidays and impress potential in-laws; best for the Mama who I will work hard to more efficiently take as much money from her as possible (nicely termed as up-selling or increasing the basket size of her purchase); best for the corporates who get the best of university students to work for them to improve how much profit they can take from the poor and give to the rich; best for my soul to be accountable before God of all my life's actions?

Ritualize x Spiritualize.

 Haven't blogged in a while! But I have a new laptop and it seems so fresh and so clean that I'm finally inspired!

 So it's the end of Ramadaan for us Muslims - the month in which we fast from sunrise to sunset as a way to strengthen our faith, submit to God and get closer to God. Essentially. It's a time I sincerely enjoy because of the calm, peace, focus and spiritual awareness it brings to my life. Honestly though, it can also be a difficult time for some because of the intense change of lifestyle and the refocusing of priorities it requires. It's also easy for the average young person to become bogged down and even overwhelmed or frustrated by certain types ascribing all sorts of cultural expectations and rights and wrongs to the lives of other Muslims, irrespective of their intents. Sometimes, it also encroaches on my self-identity, mostly because I try to be better than I usually am which can be a struggle. But over the years, I've learned something so super important about this month -  it really is a beautiful and specific time to do your own best to be a better Muslim and a better person,  to enhance your own sense of spirituality and strengthen your own faith.

In the midst of this, we're all trying to be better by fulfilling the ritualistic aspects that our religions requires from us... things like keeping our fasts and looking after our prayers, reading the Quraan more and even other ways of respecting this month of mercy and forgiveness. This in and of itself has many benefits and advantages in the journey to becoming a better Muslim and the worth of establishing these rituals goes without saying. If I must say, I'd say that doing these things - that we sometimes neglect, gives us the feeling of being more connected to God, reminds us and makes us more of aware of what is required from us in our religion and helps us become better at being Muslims. I call these practises 'rituals' but that doesn't take away from the spiritual nature of them.

Speaking about spirituality, I've been thinking that it's all good and well to focus on being better Muslims and people through these rituals, but I think it's just as important to have spiritual, human goals to focus on throughout this month as a fast and easy way to try and heal and change things that are our issues as human beings.

What I mean by this is that we should try and deal with any internal turmoil/secret wars that we have within ourselves. (If you don't know what I'm talking about here, I think maybe you need to live more or your life is perfect and I hate you a little ).  I'm saying put a spotlight on the internal sources of pain, problems, hurt, baggage that you carry. Stare it in the face. A very cool Lady and hero of mine once said, "Marry the darkness, marry what is difficult about your life, bear your struggles close to your heart and  have it be something you are proud of as opposed to something that you are ashamed of". And this is what I mean here too. And this is what I've been trying to do.

 This, coupled with the spiritual growth we experience through the rituals of this month, can only mean good things. If not during this month, then when can we focus on our ghosts...At some point, we have to let go of old issues, because they're old and we're getting old and there are new issues waiting to come into our lives, by nature of our progression, and they deserve a chance to make us suffer too.

 Here are some things I've been working on to overcome in my own life through focus, reflection, writing discussion and prayer during this month:

1) Forgiving the Lady Gaga email writer

I am a Lady Gaga fan - I love the woman passionately and not just on a superficial level, but on a much deeper level of understanding, supporting and appreciating what she actually stands for. I've never been ashamed of this or any other inspirations/loves I have and I probably never will be. So last year, when my journo friend asked me to be interviewed for an article in the Saturday Star as one of Lady Gaga's biggest fans, I was down! Especially since I'd just finished my Master's degree in the meanings of femininity, gender and sexuality created in Lady Gaga's music and videos and thought I could maybe use the article to promote my research. And it was a thrill to be in the newspaper, I wont lie. It was a super fun experience for me. I didn't expect people to make such a big deal about it  especially since it was aesthetically fabricated - I borrowed CDs and posters and all sorts of Lady Gaga stuff from teenagers I know trying to seen like a fanatic fan. I prefer to think of myself as an intellectual fan and be fancy.

Anyway, after that was published, some Muslim person,  from the safety and anonymity of a computer screen, decided to pen and spread an email to the Muslim community to the gist of "Look at this Muslim girl who likes Lady Gaga in the newspaper - Haraam!,  We must protect our girls! Imagine if this was your daughter! Oh the shame!" along with random Quranic verses and Hadith to justify point in a very disjointed way and self-serving way. For a long while, even up till very recently, this really affected me.

I was never embarrassed or ashamed about this ever - I was more angry and frustrated that someone out there in their self-righteousness felt it appropriate to make judgement calls on a percentage of my identity and the on top of that shape the whole shabang to make me an example of a bad kid and even worse, a bad Muslim. I do think others don't like and others do things I don't like but luckily for all of us we are not God. I finally think I'm over this now because I've come to realise that whoever that person is, he is a judgemental freak who wasn't right about the way he perceived and painted me then and is still not right now. So sorry for him. In addition, I am nobody's example of anything. I am just a person living my own life, deciding who to be,  on my own journey - as we all are. Guys, leave people to live their own lives and focus on bettering yourself. Judging others just exposes your fear-based perceptions, self-righteousness and short sightedness. Don't do it. As a modern and aware generation I really think that we have to try and evolve beyond judging others to make ourselves feel better. We should be an ambitious generation, pushing new ideas, creating dopeness.  Anyway,  I finally forgive you,  anonymous-Lady-Gaga-email-writer and I hope you don't do that again to anyone. Unless you're gonna be speaking about yourself, which should be your primary concern - not me or anyone else.           

 

2) Dreams coming in their own time

I've found yet another passion in life  and that's teaching English. It just came to me, I developed a talent for it and I love it. I've also had this strong desire for over the last two years to just get out in to the world, adventure, travel and just be. It's been a legit goal I've had and still have.

So, last year I really went for it and put myself through the strenuous and lengthy process of  applying for a teaching position with an agent. Now here's the weird part - most people who attempt this get a job quick and easy. I've seen it happen to so many people I know. So, I was expecting the same to happen to me. But ooh no, not meee. Through so many applications and interviews, I still couldn't get a job! A little disheartened, I gave myself a break from applying for a few months and decided to start again towards the end of the year. Then something weird happened again. I somehow managed an interview at DSTV -the company that I always planned on working for one day. Not only that, but after a process of interviews I eventually got the freaking job. Not an internship, but a proper job in broadcast media. The long term dream! I was like whaaaatishappeninglife!

I won't lie, the day I got the call to say I got the job, I sobbed and sobbed, obviously not the natural reaction, just because I was so sad to put travel plans on hold again and now pretend to be an adult - not what I wanted. I was just like why why why am I not getting what I wanted and why are my efforts always being met with disappointment.  I ended up taking the job because it was an opportunity I didn't think I should miss and so far it's been really great and I'm thankful to have it. I really do believe that everything happened for a reason and what's meant for you will come to you in its perfect and divine time. And this is what I have learnt and accepted -you can't force what you want to happen when you want it to happen but sometimes you just have to submit to the will and plan of God who knows your heart and knows what's best for you. Travelling is not what's in my plan right now and that's cool. And that's the peace I've made, although, still believing and aiming to travel in the near future. Don't know how or where or when, but I know a way will be made for this and all my dreams.

A fellow teacher at WITS told me the other day that he overheard me speaking to someone about my plans and motivation to travel and teach and because of that he decided he it was something he also wanted to do. So he applied and he is off to China in a few weeks. Cause of me and my big mouth. Which ended up being a good thing for someone else so that's good.

3) Appreciating my people

My twin sister has decided to leave me all alone with my crazy parents and go ahead and get her self married. I'm so happy for her and for her dreams becoming a reality and for the awesome step she's about to take in life. She gets married in October and as the time nears, I'm all of a sudden getting very sentimental and stuff, thinking this is the last Ramadaan/Eid she's going to spend with us even to the point of  ohmygosh this is the last 1st of August she'll be staying with us ever. It's silly and dramatic but I'm really going to miss her. She's been my best friend all these years and I've only realised it now.  I find myself being very overly compassionate, considerate open and good to her, knowing that she's moving out. My way of compensating for the fact that she'll be gone soon I guess.

And I realised that this is the way I should be living and treating everyone I love on a day to day basis, just because I love them and not for any specific reason. In drawing parallels with marriage and leaving, the thought of death comes up (maybe just in this context, maybe not haha) because I realise that people I love can leave temporarily and even worse, permanently. Its so important to appreciate each other, especially your family, because life is short and ever-changing. I realised in this month because of my sentimentality with my sister,  that I need to be treating my family like gold, and not only in certain circumstances, but every single day. I need to love them openly, be compassionate and forgiving, share myself authentically, do anything to be of service to them and appreciate them for who they are right now and not who I think they should be. I want to do all this irrespective of how different we are, of how we sometimes don't understand each other, of how I hold things against them and of how their limitations in life affect my free spirit. Irrespective of my perceptions, I am going to appreciate my loved ones everyday. I know that they treasure me and love me unconditionally and I know that they will do anything for me - because I see it everyday but mostly don't realise its real worth and meaning because I am too busy getting in my own way. I am blessed to have them and they deserve to know it.

 

 

 

 So those are my stories. These are things that month of Ramadaan has shown me and I am glad to be changing and progressing. I don't know where all that honesty came from but I thank you for being the ear to my inside voice.

How was your Ramadaan/life this month? Did you put any of your ghosts to bed? Holla back at me in the comments section so I don't seem like a weirdo.

Hope Ramadaan has been amazing for all the Muslims reading this. May all your prayers be answered and hope you all have a wonderful Eid :)

Nx

If I ever wrote a self-help book...

It would contain many expletives. I keeps it real. Here is the potential cover and title as well as a breakdown of chapters:

Please note: F=Fuck

(Sorry)

 

Chapter 1: F everyone.

This chapter is about designing ones psyche to be able to easily tell people to F off. F people and do whatever the F you want to do with your life and time because that shit is damn precious and can't afford to be wasted. Be free, happy and filled with joy and do whatever the F you need to do to feel that way. F a hater. Haters gonna hate. Don't let people's own personal limitations about life become your beliefs about your life. Do whatever you want to do to be happy. (Don’t kill anyone though. And try not to hurt people either.)

Chapter 2: Drop bullshit like it’s hot

Here, we delve into the mind in order to understand how not to stand for bullshit. Don’t stand for muthaf-in bullshit ever. If something does not sit right with you, if something is causing you unhappiness and you can’t find a resolution (like when someone irritates or annoys you badly, or if someone is constantly judgemental and small minded in their attitude), drop that muthaf-in shit like it’s hot. This is how you actively endeavour to not stand for bullshit. You can only ever control your own self - and trying to control people or impose your will on them is just a pointless and wasteful effort. Get away from people and situatations that perpetuate what you consider to be bullshit and do something else with your time. Like spending time with people or in situations who that the opposite of bullshit and that inspire and uplift. Your peace and state of mind is more important than any bullshit person or situation. Just saying.

Chapter 3: Be one selective ass bitch!

In this chapter, we shall seek to let the light into our lives by learning to be selective as shit. This means always choose the F-ing utmost best for yourself in all circumstances, especially in terms of who you hang out with and who you share your time with. Be in full and conscious control of YOUR life and your actions, and where you go and where you don’t go. Make the best decisions for yourself depending on your needs and also depending on the kind of person you dream about becoming (I’m hoping you want to be a good and extraordinary person. If not, its cool too). Sometimes you gotta be like “Yo, F other people, I need to put myself first.” This is not necessarily a selfish thing to do but rather it is an act of self-love and self-respect - if you do it right. You don’t have to be miserable or forced to do/be what you don’t want. Roll alone rather than roll with a-holes or energy suckers or self-obsessed people or anyone negative.

Chapter 4: Inspiration is the shit dreams are made of

This chapter will teach you to guide yourself not to do things unless they excite you thoroughly and fill you with joy. Basically, don’t waste your time. Don’t move unless you are inspired to. Inspiration is something godsend and is my favourite feeling in the word. It’s a powerful force that fills you with joy, empowerment, bliss and hope. You have to act on what inspires you, what touches you, what moves you. You have to take it as a message from above that you are on the right path. Being inspired by something is a gift and it feels sublime as F and because of this, it is so important to respect it. So be inspired, be free to love what also wants you to love it. Make plans if you are inspired enough and believe that that shit will come true. Because it just F-ing might. If one dope thing is possible, then every dope thing is possible. Be open to inspiration and believe in your damn self. Hard.

Chapter 5: Shine bright, bitch

This means do you. That means be yourself. In exploring this concept deeper, it actually means F your mediocre ass, scared self, and rather be the best best best version of yourself (This may be an Oprah phrase, although sincerely coming from me). Shining bright should be your norm. Thus, you need to strongly commit (despite fear) to doing things that are a little crazy and that you only dream of when you are alone and safe in your bedroom. Things that will help you grow into who you ideally want to be and things that will challenge you to be more than who you are. You really really really need to work on your hustle to become who you need to be in order to live your dreams. And you best believe that fulfilled dreams and amazing things don’t come to scared, mediocre, doubtful people who hide in the shadows of what they desire. Prioritise being wise, free, whole, enough, harmonious, strong, positive and believing (and the like) over all else. Shine bright, bitch. You can.

(Beyonce's poem to Frank Ocean on his bi-sexuality)

Chapter 6: Give thanks F-ed up.

Probably the most important chapter – training yourself to always give thanks. You just have to be grateful if you want to be baller in life. You have to be grateful especially because sometimes you are lacking in the things you want, but if you look closer and from another perspective, there are probably countless times when you actually have the things you want, but you’re too busy being ungrateful to notice. Being a spoilt brat....never that. You are looked after a power bigger than you, who loves you, who wants the best for you, who knows you and who hears you. Gratitude is the shit because it brings you more. Appreciate all the good and bad that’s in your life because it is put their on purpose by the hand of ultimate divine power. Which means it’s pretty much perfect as it is. Don’t get sucked in by a bad situation and have that ruin all the amazing things you have in your life. You are an abundant mutha-f-er and this is undeniable. So stop complaining and rather stop and realise what you have to be grateful for. Everyone definitely has something.  

Looking for a publisher. HOLLERRRRRR! :)

Nx