Social networks are ruining my life

I swear -  I’m on social networks like all day, every day, to the point of obsession where I am always touching my phone every few minutes, never missing any post from anyone, even catching up to posts I last saw AND I FREAKING HATE IT. 

Why am I like this? Are you this way too? Always in the know, never disconnected. It’s obsessive, wasteful and it’s exhausting. I guess there is a sense of ego involved - knowing things before everyone else, seeing breaking news as it happens, consuming the newest of new information all at your fingertips, always updated. Then there's also that feeling of pseudo-connection where you feel like one less lonely person by distracting yourself with all these social networks to help you forget that you don't have a cute boy to text… (kidding! kind of). I don’t know how healthy this is (probably not at all), but I think that it’s a major underlying reason why we use social networks as active, feeling,  human beings. That feeling of being a-part-of, of being connected. Only, the irony is that this is not actual human connection. It’s a bubble of mind-trickery and instant gratification. I want friend requests, likes, retweets and DMs in real life, dammit!  

Oh, this sweet, modern world we live in!

Using social networks is a major love/hate relationship for me but without it I don't know what I'd do with myself! They are my little friends throughout the day, my company, my escape. This, however, doesn’t stop me from complaining about them, just like I do about my real friends! 

Facebook :

The Original. I like Facebook because you get a lot of different kinds of information on it – people’s private life stuff/constructions, pictures, videos, articles, links, game scores. Yaaaay-ish!

But, Facebook to me is like going to a Joburg fete. It’s the place you go when there are absolutely no other fun things happening in the city and where you going to bump in to  a lot of annoying teenagers, old classmates, aunties/uncles and randoms - just people who don't interest you and whose lives you don't want necessarily want to know about. Nor do you want them to know too much about yours.

Facebook to me these days is so random and so communal - it’s the last place I go to post anything because I just feel that’s it’s a very public and open space to share things with people that are not necessarily my closest friends.  I mean I use social networks but I also don't want people I never see or hang out with all up in my bizznizz. Having said that, I feel more in control over the people I share things with on other social networks, mostly because those are newer and have a more updated version of people that are in my life. Also, I’m too lazy to go and remove every acquaintance on my long list of Facebook friends when I have other alternatives to use, you know? Facebook a place for the spreading of mass information like, “Oh hey, I’m moving to another country”, rather than day-to-day events “Yo! I saw this pretty sunset I saw today!”

Also, I must just say that in my experience the people who use Facebook as their primary social network are not usually the most cutting edge or interesting people, with the most fascinating or thought-provoking stuff to say/share, thus dulling my experience even more. Shame Facebook, I BEEN over you.

Twitter:

I like to refer to Twitter as the big black hole on the Internet where inspired, great thoughts and ideas go to die. Well, for me anyway.  This is because when I have a thought that I actually like or deem valuable or super cool, I usually tweet it For example: my dream job of being a puppy photographer/Disney songwriter. I almost forgot they were my dreams after tweeting them!!! Tweeting quickly puts one’s thoughts out there and leaves one satisfied. In so doing, your thought seem to be shared, expressed, done. What this does however, is it prevents me from developing and reflecting on the idea, thought or opinion – it just ends up being tweeted and left at that. So for example, if I have an idea for a song or poem and think up a really cool line for it, I tweet that line. But, I never actually get down to writing it somewhere, thinking about it more or developing it even further by writing more lines and completing the idea. Or if I’m feeling frustrated by something, I can quickly just bitch about it in 140 characters or less and feel better, instead of really considering the situation and how I could learn from it or what I could take from it, instead of resorting to the quick fix of complaining about it.

 The idea of instant gratification here is a biggie. Twitter gives me both the comfort and illusion of being heard, even though all I’ve done is wasted a thought on a few hundred people, most of whom are probably not even active on Twitter.  It’s just a guise of expression. See, I told you it’s a deep dark Internet hole! Eventually the idea or thought is forgotten and the potential for its development also dies. 

I have obviously come to realize that Twitter is the wrong platform for these inspired brain farts and opinions on life. But it is a lovely, sticky web for the laziness of thinking and dealing with life, and also for the fear of writing. Two problems I have literally just discovered I have! Haha!  And meh.

Instagram:

Let me not even try to deny it - I love Instagram. It is the most stimulating social network to me. Statuses and information aka hashtags/description and pictures, both of which usually tend to be of a higher quality - literally and figuratively. It’s the best of both worlds.  It’s streamlined, with a focus of higher quality content than any other social networks and I think it’s pushing us in a strong direction in terms of technology, dissemination of information, our individual use of creativity and overall higher standards on the internet. I like it. 

As an individual user however, it’s a freakin stressful situation for me. I never know which of my 250 images I capture of 2 hours of my day I should actually Instagram. I’m always confused about which of those pictures are the best, which most authentically expresses what I want to show people (I always want to keep it real, no lies or fake representations) which do I look the best in (haaa! I know you do it too), how many pictures are too many of the same event, the time frame of posting… (side note : I once had a friend tell me she unfollowed me because #latergrammed too much. Really though?? I enjoy basking in certain moments because sometimes life is THAT good and THAT sacred). Don’t even get me started on choosing a filter! As an active user, I do want to share cool pictures that are of a good quality which will be appreciated by the above-average Instagram user (Yoh, I think I’m fancy huh!). Ensuring this happens though, is clearly a headache in my life. 

In addition, I do find myself doing a lot of eye rolling at the unavoidable culture of self-promotion and ego boosting that I come across on Instagram from including and notwithstanding the repertoire of too many selfies, too much showing off, too many hot bods, constructions vs reality, virtual realities, bling bling, etc etc. Instagram makes all this pretty normal and acceptable, even though I think we can do better as young humans. I do enjoy high-fashion posts, #ootd, Beyonce’s feed (also #bringbadgalririback!), design ideas, behind the scenes of lives and what’s happening in everyday lives, pretty, faraway places, pics of jewelry, wedding dresses and tattoos and of course the real reason I even got Instagram – pictures of baby animals!!!! So, I guess it’s not all bad.  Also, have you ever seen a picture baby hippo?? Just do it.

It’s a complicated and modern world we live in. When there wasn’t Instagram, there were polaroids. When there was no Facebook, there were letters and phone calls. When there was no Twitter, there were more public outbursts, I’m sure. These forms way of communication and expressions have always existed in some shape or form (So, stop blaming the demise of moral society on Facebook, old people). I guess it’s how we navigate through it all that makes the difference. I could never understand people who never ever had Facebook or don’t use any social networks, and I probably still don’t, but I do envy the peace that they have every day. Me, personally, I am going to try and focus on being more present and patient in all moments and maybe chatting up a stranger in the parking lot, or writing with a pen and paper more. Hey, maybe I’ll even scream at the top of my lungs with delight or annoyance in the grocery store. But first, I gotta update all my statuses with this blog post. The blasted irony.

Let me know how you feel about this too!

Peace!

Nafeesa x

P.S Just thought of posting blog posts to people. Like actually in the post. It can be the new blogging!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! No? Ok bye.

Allow me to reintroduce myself….

(My name is Hov', OH, H-to-the-O-V
I used to move snowflakes by the O-Z)

If this just rang through your head right now…......................Nice!!!

On the real though, this blog has been dead. Dead dead dead. The reasons for this are wild and vast. I mean we started this blog as unemployed graduates with a lot of time to indulge in our obscure, alternative thoughts and hang out on coffee shops fantasizing about life. Oh wait, we still subscribe to the latter, but now we have less time to mess around and pursue what we really want to. Ah the corporate life! Aslam, co-blogger and homie, in a bold move (great for him, but horrible for me), moved to Sharjah to teach English for almost a year now and is probably going to keep going on world adventures. I, on the other hand, have missed my friend A LOT, but I’ve also somehow become a workaholic type and this has pretty much killed my creative drive. NOT ON. NEED THAT.

This blog was started by us as outlet the share our thoughts, critiques, tastes and ideas on everything that we love and are inspired by. These are not always common or mainstream, but they are real and affect us in a real way. I must say though that, for me, it is very frustrating having all these ideas about the world I live in and not always being able to share it with people who relate and who essentially ‘feel’ me. This is one of the reasons I wanted to be part of a blog - a space that is mine, where I can share the things in my mind with more people than in real life. We’re not up in this blog game to get more followers, or be invited to the cool parties, or to win any popularity contests. No. The Rebel and The Urban Edge represents a place for us to share our honest, sometimes outlandish contemplations, and to share what keeps inspired, interested, bothered. It’s a space for authentic, original and fearless thought that will maybe inspire, maybe present new perspectives, maybe just be fun, hopefully all of these! Or none. Deuces!

I’m so grateful for this space! I literally dream of things to write. I am constantly jotting down and I am so driven by this blog! I’ve sat down a million times to write, but honestly it hasn’t just been time constrained. Things like being uninspired, distracted and fearful all got in my way. But ain’t nobody got time for that! So we're back in the game. Thank you to everyone who has taken the time to visit this blog and read our stuff. It makes my heart happy! Plus, today I saw that had over 10 000 views. Good Lawwd! OK fine, 5000 of those views were probably me, but still! Me and Aslam are on it now! Please come back for more!

In our attempt to re-invigorate the blog, we have a shiny new banner! These pics were taken in December of last year, when I hung with Aslam-guy in his new hometown. We work up early, hustled from taxi to taxi to metro in search for a true gem in the heart of plastic Dubai – a place called The Archive in Safa Park. The Archive is essentially a coffee shop in a park attached to an even cooler modern library that boasts the most impressive collection of Islamic and Middle Eastern arts and culture books that I’ve ever seen or probably ever will see. I read so many different, amazing things – a photo diary documenting Hajj in 1939/1940 (my fave), a book on all of Azzedine Alaïa's work in the 21^st century, a book explaining the history and types of Graffiti work and their meanings in Palestine, an entire collection of poetry from Khalil Gibrain, a book documenting and explaining every single high rise building built in Dubai up to a few years ago, Zaha Hadid’s entire architecture portfolio, history books of the Arab dynasty, books on Arabic calligraphy, art work of Al Ghazali philosophy, just to name a few. Needless to say, we were joyfully lost in those books for hours. Literally. For breakfast, brunch, lunch and afternoon tea. We indulged and we found our happy place. Oh! How can I forget! We also got to see a mural that graf artist El Seed, who we love, did just a few days before at The Archive. It was a great day indeed.

So welcome back again and see you soon?

Peace and love,

Nafeesa

Ritualize x Spiritualize.

 Haven't blogged in a while! But I have a new laptop and it seems so fresh and so clean that I'm finally inspired!

 So it's the end of Ramadaan for us Muslims - the month in which we fast from sunrise to sunset as a way to strengthen our faith, submit to God and get closer to God. Essentially. It's a time I sincerely enjoy because of the calm, peace, focus and spiritual awareness it brings to my life. Honestly though, it can also be a difficult time for some because of the intense change of lifestyle and the refocusing of priorities it requires. It's also easy for the average young person to become bogged down and even overwhelmed or frustrated by certain types ascribing all sorts of cultural expectations and rights and wrongs to the lives of other Muslims, irrespective of their intents. Sometimes, it also encroaches on my self-identity, mostly because I try to be better than I usually am which can be a struggle. But over the years, I've learned something so super important about this month -  it really is a beautiful and specific time to do your own best to be a better Muslim and a better person,  to enhance your own sense of spirituality and strengthen your own faith.

In the midst of this, we're all trying to be better by fulfilling the ritualistic aspects that our religions requires from us... things like keeping our fasts and looking after our prayers, reading the Quraan more and even other ways of respecting this month of mercy and forgiveness. This in and of itself has many benefits and advantages in the journey to becoming a better Muslim and the worth of establishing these rituals goes without saying. If I must say, I'd say that doing these things - that we sometimes neglect, gives us the feeling of being more connected to God, reminds us and makes us more of aware of what is required from us in our religion and helps us become better at being Muslims. I call these practises 'rituals' but that doesn't take away from the spiritual nature of them.

Speaking about spirituality, I've been thinking that it's all good and well to focus on being better Muslims and people through these rituals, but I think it's just as important to have spiritual, human goals to focus on throughout this month as a fast and easy way to try and heal and change things that are our issues as human beings.

What I mean by this is that we should try and deal with any internal turmoil/secret wars that we have within ourselves. (If you don't know what I'm talking about here, I think maybe you need to live more or your life is perfect and I hate you a little ).  I'm saying put a spotlight on the internal sources of pain, problems, hurt, baggage that you carry. Stare it in the face. A very cool Lady and hero of mine once said, "Marry the darkness, marry what is difficult about your life, bear your struggles close to your heart and  have it be something you are proud of as opposed to something that you are ashamed of". And this is what I mean here too. And this is what I've been trying to do.

 This, coupled with the spiritual growth we experience through the rituals of this month, can only mean good things. If not during this month, then when can we focus on our ghosts...At some point, we have to let go of old issues, because they're old and we're getting old and there are new issues waiting to come into our lives, by nature of our progression, and they deserve a chance to make us suffer too.

 Here are some things I've been working on to overcome in my own life through focus, reflection, writing discussion and prayer during this month:

1) Forgiving the Lady Gaga email writer

I am a Lady Gaga fan - I love the woman passionately and not just on a superficial level, but on a much deeper level of understanding, supporting and appreciating what she actually stands for. I've never been ashamed of this or any other inspirations/loves I have and I probably never will be. So last year, when my journo friend asked me to be interviewed for an article in the Saturday Star as one of Lady Gaga's biggest fans, I was down! Especially since I'd just finished my Master's degree in the meanings of femininity, gender and sexuality created in Lady Gaga's music and videos and thought I could maybe use the article to promote my research. And it was a thrill to be in the newspaper, I wont lie. It was a super fun experience for me. I didn't expect people to make such a big deal about it  especially since it was aesthetically fabricated - I borrowed CDs and posters and all sorts of Lady Gaga stuff from teenagers I know trying to seen like a fanatic fan. I prefer to think of myself as an intellectual fan and be fancy.

Anyway, after that was published, some Muslim person,  from the safety and anonymity of a computer screen, decided to pen and spread an email to the Muslim community to the gist of "Look at this Muslim girl who likes Lady Gaga in the newspaper - Haraam!,  We must protect our girls! Imagine if this was your daughter! Oh the shame!" along with random Quranic verses and Hadith to justify point in a very disjointed way and self-serving way. For a long while, even up till very recently, this really affected me.

I was never embarrassed or ashamed about this ever - I was more angry and frustrated that someone out there in their self-righteousness felt it appropriate to make judgement calls on a percentage of my identity and the on top of that shape the whole shabang to make me an example of a bad kid and even worse, a bad Muslim. I do think others don't like and others do things I don't like but luckily for all of us we are not God. I finally think I'm over this now because I've come to realise that whoever that person is, he is a judgemental freak who wasn't right about the way he perceived and painted me then and is still not right now. So sorry for him. In addition, I am nobody's example of anything. I am just a person living my own life, deciding who to be,  on my own journey - as we all are. Guys, leave people to live their own lives and focus on bettering yourself. Judging others just exposes your fear-based perceptions, self-righteousness and short sightedness. Don't do it. As a modern and aware generation I really think that we have to try and evolve beyond judging others to make ourselves feel better. We should be an ambitious generation, pushing new ideas, creating dopeness.  Anyway,  I finally forgive you,  anonymous-Lady-Gaga-email-writer and I hope you don't do that again to anyone. Unless you're gonna be speaking about yourself, which should be your primary concern - not me or anyone else.           

 

2) Dreams coming in their own time

I've found yet another passion in life  and that's teaching English. It just came to me, I developed a talent for it and I love it. I've also had this strong desire for over the last two years to just get out in to the world, adventure, travel and just be. It's been a legit goal I've had and still have.

So, last year I really went for it and put myself through the strenuous and lengthy process of  applying for a teaching position with an agent. Now here's the weird part - most people who attempt this get a job quick and easy. I've seen it happen to so many people I know. So, I was expecting the same to happen to me. But ooh no, not meee. Through so many applications and interviews, I still couldn't get a job! A little disheartened, I gave myself a break from applying for a few months and decided to start again towards the end of the year. Then something weird happened again. I somehow managed an interview at DSTV -the company that I always planned on working for one day. Not only that, but after a process of interviews I eventually got the freaking job. Not an internship, but a proper job in broadcast media. The long term dream! I was like whaaaatishappeninglife!

I won't lie, the day I got the call to say I got the job, I sobbed and sobbed, obviously not the natural reaction, just because I was so sad to put travel plans on hold again and now pretend to be an adult - not what I wanted. I was just like why why why am I not getting what I wanted and why are my efforts always being met with disappointment.  I ended up taking the job because it was an opportunity I didn't think I should miss and so far it's been really great and I'm thankful to have it. I really do believe that everything happened for a reason and what's meant for you will come to you in its perfect and divine time. And this is what I have learnt and accepted -you can't force what you want to happen when you want it to happen but sometimes you just have to submit to the will and plan of God who knows your heart and knows what's best for you. Travelling is not what's in my plan right now and that's cool. And that's the peace I've made, although, still believing and aiming to travel in the near future. Don't know how or where or when, but I know a way will be made for this and all my dreams.

A fellow teacher at WITS told me the other day that he overheard me speaking to someone about my plans and motivation to travel and teach and because of that he decided he it was something he also wanted to do. So he applied and he is off to China in a few weeks. Cause of me and my big mouth. Which ended up being a good thing for someone else so that's good.

3) Appreciating my people

My twin sister has decided to leave me all alone with my crazy parents and go ahead and get her self married. I'm so happy for her and for her dreams becoming a reality and for the awesome step she's about to take in life. She gets married in October and as the time nears, I'm all of a sudden getting very sentimental and stuff, thinking this is the last Ramadaan/Eid she's going to spend with us even to the point of  ohmygosh this is the last 1st of August she'll be staying with us ever. It's silly and dramatic but I'm really going to miss her. She's been my best friend all these years and I've only realised it now.  I find myself being very overly compassionate, considerate open and good to her, knowing that she's moving out. My way of compensating for the fact that she'll be gone soon I guess.

And I realised that this is the way I should be living and treating everyone I love on a day to day basis, just because I love them and not for any specific reason. In drawing parallels with marriage and leaving, the thought of death comes up (maybe just in this context, maybe not haha) because I realise that people I love can leave temporarily and even worse, permanently. Its so important to appreciate each other, especially your family, because life is short and ever-changing. I realised in this month because of my sentimentality with my sister,  that I need to be treating my family like gold, and not only in certain circumstances, but every single day. I need to love them openly, be compassionate and forgiving, share myself authentically, do anything to be of service to them and appreciate them for who they are right now and not who I think they should be. I want to do all this irrespective of how different we are, of how we sometimes don't understand each other, of how I hold things against them and of how their limitations in life affect my free spirit. Irrespective of my perceptions, I am going to appreciate my loved ones everyday. I know that they treasure me and love me unconditionally and I know that they will do anything for me - because I see it everyday but mostly don't realise its real worth and meaning because I am too busy getting in my own way. I am blessed to have them and they deserve to know it.

 

 

 

 So those are my stories. These are things that month of Ramadaan has shown me and I am glad to be changing and progressing. I don't know where all that honesty came from but I thank you for being the ear to my inside voice.

How was your Ramadaan/life this month? Did you put any of your ghosts to bed? Holla back at me in the comments section so I don't seem like a weirdo.

Hope Ramadaan has been amazing for all the Muslims reading this. May all your prayers be answered and hope you all have a wonderful Eid :)

Nx

If I ever wrote a self-help book...

It would contain many expletives. I keeps it real. Here is the potential cover and title as well as a breakdown of chapters:

Please note: F=Fuck

(Sorry)

 

Chapter 1: F everyone.

This chapter is about designing ones psyche to be able to easily tell people to F off. F people and do whatever the F you want to do with your life and time because that shit is damn precious and can't afford to be wasted. Be free, happy and filled with joy and do whatever the F you need to do to feel that way. F a hater. Haters gonna hate. Don't let people's own personal limitations about life become your beliefs about your life. Do whatever you want to do to be happy. (Don’t kill anyone though. And try not to hurt people either.)

Chapter 2: Drop bullshit like it’s hot

Here, we delve into the mind in order to understand how not to stand for bullshit. Don’t stand for muthaf-in bullshit ever. If something does not sit right with you, if something is causing you unhappiness and you can’t find a resolution (like when someone irritates or annoys you badly, or if someone is constantly judgemental and small minded in their attitude), drop that muthaf-in shit like it’s hot. This is how you actively endeavour to not stand for bullshit. You can only ever control your own self - and trying to control people or impose your will on them is just a pointless and wasteful effort. Get away from people and situatations that perpetuate what you consider to be bullshit and do something else with your time. Like spending time with people or in situations who that the opposite of bullshit and that inspire and uplift. Your peace and state of mind is more important than any bullshit person or situation. Just saying.

Chapter 3: Be one selective ass bitch!

In this chapter, we shall seek to let the light into our lives by learning to be selective as shit. This means always choose the F-ing utmost best for yourself in all circumstances, especially in terms of who you hang out with and who you share your time with. Be in full and conscious control of YOUR life and your actions, and where you go and where you don’t go. Make the best decisions for yourself depending on your needs and also depending on the kind of person you dream about becoming (I’m hoping you want to be a good and extraordinary person. If not, its cool too). Sometimes you gotta be like “Yo, F other people, I need to put myself first.” This is not necessarily a selfish thing to do but rather it is an act of self-love and self-respect - if you do it right. You don’t have to be miserable or forced to do/be what you don’t want. Roll alone rather than roll with a-holes or energy suckers or self-obsessed people or anyone negative.

Chapter 4: Inspiration is the shit dreams are made of

This chapter will teach you to guide yourself not to do things unless they excite you thoroughly and fill you with joy. Basically, don’t waste your time. Don’t move unless you are inspired to. Inspiration is something godsend and is my favourite feeling in the word. It’s a powerful force that fills you with joy, empowerment, bliss and hope. You have to act on what inspires you, what touches you, what moves you. You have to take it as a message from above that you are on the right path. Being inspired by something is a gift and it feels sublime as F and because of this, it is so important to respect it. So be inspired, be free to love what also wants you to love it. Make plans if you are inspired enough and believe that that shit will come true. Because it just F-ing might. If one dope thing is possible, then every dope thing is possible. Be open to inspiration and believe in your damn self. Hard.

Chapter 5: Shine bright, bitch

This means do you. That means be yourself. In exploring this concept deeper, it actually means F your mediocre ass, scared self, and rather be the best best best version of yourself (This may be an Oprah phrase, although sincerely coming from me). Shining bright should be your norm. Thus, you need to strongly commit (despite fear) to doing things that are a little crazy and that you only dream of when you are alone and safe in your bedroom. Things that will help you grow into who you ideally want to be and things that will challenge you to be more than who you are. You really really really need to work on your hustle to become who you need to be in order to live your dreams. And you best believe that fulfilled dreams and amazing things don’t come to scared, mediocre, doubtful people who hide in the shadows of what they desire. Prioritise being wise, free, whole, enough, harmonious, strong, positive and believing (and the like) over all else. Shine bright, bitch. You can.

(Beyonce's poem to Frank Ocean on his bi-sexuality)

Chapter 6: Give thanks F-ed up.

Probably the most important chapter – training yourself to always give thanks. You just have to be grateful if you want to be baller in life. You have to be grateful especially because sometimes you are lacking in the things you want, but if you look closer and from another perspective, there are probably countless times when you actually have the things you want, but you’re too busy being ungrateful to notice. Being a spoilt brat....never that. You are looked after a power bigger than you, who loves you, who wants the best for you, who knows you and who hears you. Gratitude is the shit because it brings you more. Appreciate all the good and bad that’s in your life because it is put their on purpose by the hand of ultimate divine power. Which means it’s pretty much perfect as it is. Don’t get sucked in by a bad situation and have that ruin all the amazing things you have in your life. You are an abundant mutha-f-er and this is undeniable. So stop complaining and rather stop and realise what you have to be grateful for. Everyone definitely has something.  

Looking for a publisher. HOLLERRRRRR! :)

Nx

Fashion/TV : My Top 8

This blog needs some fun times and I'm here to provide to bring it! I know it's been a hot minute (I’ve been busy and lazy, ok!) so I thought I'd come back with a bang of fun and confetti in the form of a frivolous and indulgent Top 8 countdown. I say frivolous and indulgent, but I propose too, that it is important and relevant! Besides it being Halloween soon, I also just need to get these thoughts out! So here I am sharing with you my favourite, best dressed characters from TV shows. This all started in my mission for a Halloween costume. Being the specific person I am and with the specific style I like to think I have, I’m not about to wear something silly and ridiculous, even if it is in the name of fun – although, silliness and ridiculousness here, is all relative. It’s a perfect excuse to pay homage to your favourite anything in a fashionable way – to commit, represent, make it special, make it original and not turn up as your favourite Teletubby. Basically, what I’m saying is seize the opportunity on Halloween. And in life.

Beyond this though, I just wanted to share my list of the best dressed, pop culture TV characters I’ve come across in my life. Besides best dressed, I’m gonna go ahead and say that in the context of TV and my head, they are style icons, because their looks are each bold and powerful. Their characters are enhanced by their style and because of this, they are not easily forgotten. Also, because it’s fun and because Serena and Blair are not the first well-dressed characters on TV. Hope these bring back some good memories and provide some kind of inspiration!

#8 Wilma Flinstone, The Flinstones

 

To start off, I chose the famous Mrs Flinstone. I feel like people overlook her simplistic elegance just because she lives in Stone Age and is surrounded by dinosaurs. Sure, she only has one outfit, but what a good one it is! Understated and elegant. Whether she is cleaning the house, shopping or at the drive-in, she always looks like she is ready for a cocktail party in her one-shoulder dress and red lips. Her “pearls” too communicate an idea of maturity and social standing. She’s fun and social yet intelligent and responsible, and her styling exemplifies this. She be reppin’ the little white dress, from back in the day! Literally!

#7 Hilary Banks, The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air

 

 

  

At number 7, I chose one of the underrated characters from one of my favourite shows : Hilary Banks from The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air. She’s the spoilt, lazy, ditz of the family – but my God is she funny! I never appreciated her character growing up, because of all these negative connotations, but also, because I associated them with hot, popular, stupid girl in the awesome clothes (dear old American pop culture conditioning). So the clothes had lost their meaning to me. Watching episodes today though, she makes me laugh the most and besides that, she has mad style! As the rich, hot girl she expectedly wears cool clothes, but her styling is daring, clean and fresh. She’s preppy, she’s structured, she’s sexy and she always looks like she’s ready to rule the world. Ironically. Because she’s not. But she pulls the look of immaculately. She’s chic and adorable and I want all her jackets. Next time the show’s on, check out what she’s wearing and you’ll be all like, “Damn girl!” You’ll see.

#6 Ariel’s sisters, The Little Mermaid

  

Ariaaaal!!! (In Sebastian the Lobster’s accent). This movie pretty much made my childhood. Ariel is so beautiful, even though she’s just a drawing. She’s got this bold and reckless beauty that I adore. However, the reason I think that her sisters are style icons, is because of the lesson in style they inadvertently provide. They are 6 sisters, all princesses, all different, yet they are able to represent parts of their personality through something very specific – accessories. Attina, who is next in line for the throne has the boldest crown; Aquata, has pearls in her hair and is a graceful dancer with feminine characteristics; Andrina is sarcastic and witty and has pink decorations in her short blonde hair; Arista is a little ditzy and has long blonde hair with red pearl decorations; Adella has green fins and is boy crazy; and Alana is the glamorous, beauty queen with a pink tiara-like crown.

What I’m saying is that style is made up of who you are and how you express that. Clearly, these mermaids express their individuality through colour, hair style and accessories – and it works. We are not clones and our individuality should be celebrated and expressed. Herein lies the power of the accessory, illustrated by mermaids. Unexpected, I know.

#5 Peggy Bundy, Married With Children

  

 

  

"Love and Marriage, Love and Marriage, Go together like a horse and carriage...”. I know you love that show...

Peggy Bundy is the hot mama in Married With Children, who does not cook or clean, and is obnoxious and a little self-absorbed. Her personality is maintained through her style and I can respect that. She’s into leopard print, stilettos, shoulder pads and big, red, hair that is so high, it is close to God. She maintains who she is through her loud, sexy and unapologetic dress sense, along with with a cigarette constantly on her lips for that extra attitude. Also, she only ever wears heels. All. The Time. My kind of girl! Her daughter may have been the hot one in the cast, but this mama was definitely the best dressed.

 #4 Romy and Michelle, Romy and Michelle’s High School Reunion

 

I’m not embarrassed to admit that this is one of my favourite movies ever! Romy and Michelle are two best friends with their own self-created style that they are proud to show off and live by. What I love about them in the movie is that they wear what THEY think is cool, and not what others think is cool – the way it should be. They don’t conform to any kind of fashion trends, and define the rules themselves. They make their own clothes, they wear pleather and heels to the spinning class, and they dressed up as Madonna to the prom instead of as some poofed up cupcakes (it was the 80s). They don’t curr, they define their own style. It’s more important to them to be true to themselves, no matter how conventional or silly they may look. And when they are true to themselves aesthetically, they are confident, and shine in many other ways. They want to be more than some unemployed, underestimated, California girls. They want to be special and they want to be remembered. They achieved this by being themselves, inside and out. Awwww.

#3 Morticia Addams, The Addams Family

 

The original pop culture, Goth girl. Which I LOVE. But besides that, Morticia makes my list because her style, although a little eerie, is sleek, bold and timeless. Her long, straight black her coupled with her long, tight, structured black dress is so smoky and smooth, and it speaks volumes about the kind of character she portrays – dark, sarcastic and amusing. She embodies a look that will never grow old or not suit her because of how it effortlessly ties in with who she specifically is. I also think that fact that she is a bit creepy not only adds more intrigue to her look but represents her as strong woman that others would be intimidated by, and there ain’t nothing wrong with that! I also adore how she is dark and glamorous at the same time. Her look is hard, but she always has beautiful glowing make up, bright red lips and long red nails – features of a more feminine woman. She applies this to traditional element to her look and it gives it a new meaning of dark elegance. She walks the walk, talks the talk, and wears that black dress like no other. I think she’s very cool. Effortlessly and authentically so.

#2 Cruella DeVille, 101 Dalmatians

 

 

 

I know she’s an evil and crazy lady... but Cruella’s style (minus the potentially dead Dalmatian fur coat) is, quite frankly, high-fashion, bad-assery. This can be broken down to three main elements. Firstly, her eccentricity, her glamour and her use of only 3 colours in her dressing. Firstly, her crazy and slightly demented personality defines a lot of her eccentric style, particularly seen in her kind of punk-inspired, two-tone hair and of course the crazy look in her eyes. But this is a villain who indulges in style and glamour. She wears over-sized fur coats and long satin gloves, smokes her cigarettes through a long cigarette holder, and always wears a dark red lipstick and red long nails. Another defining feature of her style is that she only ever wears black, white and red, a bold and iconic combination. She is strong, glamorous, rich, eccentric bad-ass who values her purposefully constructed appearance and the messages it sends. She is evil in the most iconic and stylish way, that makes me want to be evil too. Just a little.

#1 Jem and the Holograms, Jem and the Holograms

 

 

  

 

 If you did not watch Jem and The Holograms as a kid, I feel like you definitely missed out. I would be lying if I didn’t say that till today, I am madly in love with Jem and The Holograms and sometimes I wish they were a real band that would make real music videos, win MTV awards, cover the pages of Vogue, start a clothing line and then come and tour in South Africa, where I would be their #1 groupie. I think I can actually also say without a doubt that Jem and The Holograms are responsible for my love of the rock n' roll girl.

Let me tell you about Jem. Her real name is Jerrica and she owns a music company but has an alter-rock star-ego, Jem, and together with her sister and friends have a rock band called Jem and The Holograms. Sometimes I think that Jem and The Holograms all went solo and changed their names to Lady Gaga, Rihanna, Katy Perry and Nicki Minaj. Beside the fact that they are in an ALL GIRL ROCK BAND, they all have amazing style, defined by big colourful hair, crazy make up, bold signature pieces of clothing, edgy accessories and an overall rock and roll frame, with a soft side. They are a rock band, who are stylised by their music, by the culture of their punk-rock sound and by their femininity. Most importantly, they are cool – they are endlessly hip and fashionable, because they exist in a culture of music that influences who they are and how they look and they exist in this realm, as it is with all self-created, authentic and original music stars. They are an explosion of a fantasy girl, punk rock style. I’m obsessed with Jem and The Holograms, a secret I am now letting out, and I wish I could wear a candyfloss pink wig every day and have magic earrings that turn me into a rock star. Don’t you?

What did you think?

Also, I'm calling dibs on Cruella for Halloween!

Peace and Love

Nx