What to do when you want to do everything?

I want to do lots of things and this post is me trying to figure out how to do it all, or what to postpone, or what to just cut out all together.

A good starting point would be to have a vision, turn this into a mission statement, projects and action plans with clearly defined, measurable and time sensitive goals. But this really doesn't sound like fun (and sounds too corporate-strategy-like). Instead I turned to Facebook where I came across this:

And it is supposed to help you find your life purpose. I tried filling in the headings (even taking it kinda seriously) but with little success:

That which you LOVE

koeksisters

a good workout

organising events

bringing people together

travelling

my wife

That which the world NEEDS

better men

anti-consumerism

spirituality

just cities

That which can be PAID for

planning

research

teaching English

That which you are GOOD at

organising events

bringing people together

eating koeksisters

I don’t think I’m any closer to my Ikigai. 

The idea of a balanced life appeals to me, one that includes continuous growth mentally, physically and spiritually. Social and financial growth are also important but I think those are more by-products for me than things I would set out to grow. So I turned to Youtube where I found these:

My friends Syed and Kamalio talking about all the things they want to do and learn.

And this other guy talking about all the things to learn:

Those didn’t help direct me in any particular way but at least I got the sense that I wasn’t alone in trying to do so many things. And so I turned to the last hope of internet things, a list-acle. 

A couple of years ago I read a piece on Pharrell's habits for success and thought it interesting because it wasn't the typical habits common to many in the business world. What I liked most about it was that it provided some insights into how one might juggle a life in which you are many things. And I’ve been juggling.

Outside of fellowship hours I've been making some progress on the projects I wanted to take on.

On the AwethuArt front I’ve reached out for help on the website recognising my own shortcomings in web design and graphics. I’m pretty sure the person I’ve reached out to will be able to do a much better job in a fraction of the time and if not then at least I freed up some of my time to think about other things in the meanwhile. I’ve also been looking at some of the next steps for a storytelling event that’s been on my mind for a while. An organisation called The Moth has been organising events where people can come together and share stories for a little while and the need for this within our communities was emphasised when reading Chimamanda Adichie in sessions a couple of weeks ago. I’ve always loved Mayfair and Fordsburg, they’re the suburbs where I grew up going to mosque with my neighbours and bunking mosque to go to McDonald’s and Shell with my neighbours. But the community is fractured. There is so much diversity but instead of drawing benefit from our differences there is rampant misunderstanding. I would like there to be just one night where we come together to listen to each other, the old Somali man, 5th generation South African Indian aunty, Fordsburg Primary School children and whoever else has a story to share. I contacted someone who worked at the venue I want to use to find out how to access it and I’m currently looking for a partner to work on this project with, someone with an equal passion for the suburbs and the stories that come from it who will help me source storytellers and perhaps MC the night while I run logistics.

 

On the teaching-English-to-migrants front there’s some progress. A wonderful partner has come on board in a big way. We met on Saturday and ate samoosas in the Plaza. I’m meeting someone else on Wednesday for a potential venue and other support with community projects based on his years working in the community. I like this project because it draws on a skill I already have, although it needs some brushing up and it has the potential to scale up to help many adults who don’t feel confident in their English skills. When teaching abroad I often reflected at one of my forefathers took the time and effort to learn this difficult and confusing language and as a result I am able to enjoy the benefits of it. I am conflicted though because as English spreads speeds up the extinction of other languages. We hope to give native languages their due respect by having a library that includes books and magazines in native languages to encourage a reading culture in all languages. Reading in your native language is an act of self-preservation. The fact that books aren’t available in languages other than English in local libraries should be seen as it is, an affront to people’s dignity. Having non-English books available to learners goes against what they teach in English-teaching school but it’s our small way of fighting back the neo-post-neo-colonialism.

Just this evening I got off a Skype call with another wonderful partner on the conversations-on-masculinities project. This will likely only start in October allowing me some breathing room but I plan on using this time to try and learn about conversation facilitation (or to find someone to do this instead of me). 

Effective partnering is important not just for efficiency but because it allows me to spend time with people I admire and draw inspiration from. It also allows me to meet new and interesting people and get to know them relatively well in a short space of time exposing me to new worldviews, ways of working, thinking and being. I find that the productive work that needs to get done can be a drag when going at it alone but with someone else it gets done often as a result of a bit of a tennis match where each of us does our bit and puts the ball back in the court of the other until all the steps are complete. 

I think I have the beginnings of a partnership for spiritual growth but I need to do some follow up on that path and as for the physical I’ve been added to a Whatsapp group with Joburg breakdancers that I hope will lead to some training sessions.

Through thinking about these various aspects of the life I’ve also had the opportunity to think in more general terms about a life worth living. To me it is a life of expression, freedom to break boundaries, to live by the rules that you create, to take advantage of every opportunity you've been given.

Importantly I would like each of the things I mentioned above to contribute toward building strong institutions. Once-off events or the start of projects are exciting and fun but they should be part of a larger idea that will provide benefits to society beyond the immediate. I still have a lot to read, learn and think about how this cross-over works.

I would also like all these things to contribute towards building a diverse and interesting life full of new adventures and learning. A portfolio career.

What to do with AwethuArt?

In August last year was the first AwethuArt event. It was a film screening of The Hajji followed by a Q&A with the cast and crew that was facilitated by an old university friend who is now a director and her partner in crime. The event was a "success" in that we had a bunch of people show up, far more than I expected, the tickets covered the cost of the mics I bought for the night, the venue made some money and the cast and crew had their dinner paid for. I don't know if that was the intention behind the event though. Now that I have some time I've been reflecting on what AwethuArt was supposed to be, has it been that and what to do with it now.

AwethuArt was actually proposed as a name change for South African Artists Against Apartheid, an artistic collective campaigning for the cultural boycott of Israel, while supporting local artists, political art broadly, Palestinian artists and creating spaces to talk politics without being boring. The name change came partly because having the email address aslam.bulbulia@southafricanartistsagainstapartheid.com felt ridiculous and also because, when people saw the name alone, people thought we were being ironic protesting apartheid after 1994 and us having to explain the link to the current apartheid state of Israel. Long story short the name change never happened and the group kind of died out but the memories I had of the SAAAA events, particularly the Wednesday Sessions, I had were vivid and strong. I felt that space where anyone could show up and experience something new, meet some new people and think about different art in a new way was essential and exciting. I wanted to recreate spaces like that.

Following the film screening we have organised a poetry night, a couple of bloggers' evenings and a graffiti day. I'm not so sure if these events have managed to capture the feel of the Wednesday Sessions nor do I think they've quite been what I initially intended for them. This is not to say that they haven't been good or produced worthwhile outcomes but some reflections and redirections are necessary at this point.

They say it's good to start with an identification of the problem you're trying to solve and perhaps I've been scattered in this. I've been trying to make art more accessible, develop a network of artists in the city, develop young artists, create engaging spaces, counter dominant artistic narratives and get young Muslims involved in self-expression while not creating exclusively Muslim spaces for this. I think all of these things are still things that I think are worth doing and if anything I would add to it that the need for a long-term repository of our stories and that the type of art being produced needs to reflect ideas that are important to me.

Ideas I would like art to explore more include: 

- decolonisation, which is trending right now but a term I think I was looking for in Muslim thought for so long and finally found. 

- anti-consumerism, I find the art of today which could be really powerful tanks to social media is so closely linked to brands that its objective seems little more than to fuel consumption.

- pluralism, being able to express your reality freely for others to engage with who you are and fully engaging in the next person with both people being able to walk away from the experience enriched, changed but not threatened.

- anti-individualism, the relationship between art and ego is something I want to unpack further but the individualism and egoism that stems from its current modes of celebration are something I feel is spiritually unhealthy.

I have just begun organising a storytelling evening to take place in Fordsburg/Mayfair. My hope is that the coming together of all the diverse people that live in my favourite suburb to openly and honestly share their stories may be a way to reduce some of the othering that occurs there on a daily basis. I'm quite looking forward to hearing the richness of that place and continuing to reflect on AwethuArt as it happens.

The Post-Research Life

The words, "finish research" have been in my head whenever I thought of my to-do's for the last 5 years. And now it is finally done.

Since finishing I've spent time celebrating this momentous achievement (for me at least) with my family. I've also started swimming again to get the old blood flowing again and thinking a lot about what comes next. The last is a luxury I am savouring with all my being.

One of the things I really want to do is write. Through writing I think I'll be able to plan and process all the thoughts and ideas that have been desperate to get out for so long. I have a few posts that I plan to write over the coming weeks. One of them is called "What to do when you want to do everything?" (you'll see why by the end of this post). I'm hoping that through writing I'll be able to process and order the longer-term visions I have and unpack some of their contradictions.

I wanted to list some of the other things I've been thinking about to keep track of them and make room in my head for new thoughts. They include:

• further study - economics, math, public administration, muslims in Joburg, islam and hip-hop, islam and city planning and traditional islamic studies all seem to be vying for the top spots
• AwethuArt website
• past AwethuArt event write-ups
• AwethuArt events - storytelling session in Fordsburg, another poetry evening, bloggers' event, film screening, graffiti day and something musical perhaps
• reconnecting with friends and the city
• blog about the difficulties experienced while researching and the things I learnt about myself and academia by pushing (and being pushed) to finish
• blog about the findings of my research in a way that's more accessible than a 150-page document
• organise regular dhikr evenings through which I can hopefully learn the Gadat
• make some shirts
• teach English again - either through Wits Language School or set up something for migrants in Yeoville/Mayfair
• start to breakdance again or build the strength and flexibility I need for that
• hip-hop appreciation get togethers
• group discussions on masculinity - possibly with the Amadoda group

AwethuArt is on my thoughts quite a lot and the future of it is something that really excites me. I want to meet people and discuss the future of AwethuArt. I learn best by sharing thoughts and hearing the thoughts of others. If you have thoughts on the project and would like to grab a coffee and chat about please do let me know, the coffee will be on me.

I think I want to learn a little bit about graphic design and websites. The AwethuArt website might be my practice project for this but I may just decide that this needs to be outsourced. Likewise with recording and editing video from AwethuArt events.

All-in-all I'm quite excited for the post-research life. And if you're reading this I'm glad you're part of the journey.

More reflecting, more writing

"Reflect deeply, write down and reflect again, eat, write and reflect again about your experiences to date."

I am blessed to have a number of men and women who I know, who know me and I can look up to and turn to for advice. This piece of advice was given to me by my cousin when I turned to him asking what I should do from September-December 2014 as the research partnership I thought I'd be doing didn't seem to be working out as planned.
My experience to that date had been incredible. I was reflecting on my time spent in Sharjah and my life experiences as a whole. I thought it strange that all the experiences hadn't pointed me in a specific direction and that I found myself in Toronto with 4 months free and that's probably why I needed to reflect on all of them to see if there's something missed.

Turns out that that was all part of Allah's plan. Through the events that unfolded in Toronto I met someone super cool, came back home, got married, finished my masters and am in a fellowship where I spend my days with super interesting people discussing super interesting things.

I find it amusing though that about about a year and a half later and I'm in a similar position of trying to think about what I should be doing with my life and so I've decided to take the advice to heart and reflect deeply and write it all down...and eat more.

I'm looking forward to sharing reflections here, on the fellowship, on a little project called AwethuArt, on my masters research and more. Maybe I'll even write about eating.